Monthly Archives: May 2009

[inbetween] singing sweet home alabama all summer long

okay. i never thought the day would come that i’d say this, but kid rock really got it right. that song truly gets to the epitome of all that is a genuine summertime in northern michigan.  i mean, for the most part, not literally every word but you get the idea…

just as friends that have also had tonsillectomy’s told me, right at the 7-8 day mark, you will start to feel better, and then each passing day, you will feel significantly better- and they were right! i started feeling more human on wednesday and by thursday i was 100% off the pain meds and laying out on my lawn with my friends. by this point i am about 98% recovered except for some minor jaw aching which is just fine with me 🙂

i am currently in lake city, michigan (“up north”) at my cottage. today my parents and i drove up to harbor springs (even further up north) and i was able to spend the afternoon with one of my best friends from school. it was so good to see her! we bummed around and acted toursity for the afternoon. i also got a pair of shoes out of the deal so… all in all a great day!

i was walking around tonight (attempting to find any area where i get service on my phone) and i stopped for a second and looked up at the sky. the sky up here is completely different than the sky at my house down state. its as if God took a bottle of windex and sprayed it and wiped off a couple of layers of dust- the stars are so vivid and big, shining bright and leaving me speechless for just a moment.  i can’t wait until it warms up juuuust a little bit more and i can lay outside and just take it all in.

i remember last summer there was a meteor shower one night and luckily, it fell on a weekend night when i was up here. i layed out there until 3 am watching and just being. that’s what i love about summer. the ability to just be.

i’ve had a lot of thoughts lately and i can think of no better place to be to think them all out. i’m looking forward to this summer. more than summers past. i have a lot to be thankful for right now and for the first time in months, maybe even a year or two,  i am completely content with my life. happy. smiling just because.

and that’s something i could definitely get used to.


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[inbetween] epic fail

so i haven’t been doing a good job at daily surgery recovery updates. my b. but i can sum it up quite simply- it sucks. since my previous post, i have been back into the hospital due to severe nausea and dehydration, which was bundles of fun. yesterday i actually felt a lot better and was able to eat a good amount of food, but today has been a bad day again.

my problem is that my body is super sensitive to the pain medication and it keeps making me sick… and the less i eat, the worse i feel, so once i start to feel nauseated, i don’t eat, and then i get weak and feel worse and then i can’t take any more meds on an empty stomach, but if i do anyways, i get sick again, and then the vicious cycle repeats.

it’s been a wild week and needless to say, i cannot wait for this whole process to be over with. today is either day 4 or day 5 (we can’t decide.. is the day of surgery considered day 1, or is the first day after surgery day 1?) and full recovery isn’t until about day 1o-12.. so i’ve still got quite a stretch ahead of me. i’m hoping that the worst is over with though.. hoping very hard..

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[inbetween] the tonsil-less girl. as my bests refer to me.


surgery was this morning. i went in the OR around 11 i believe, a little later than scheduled.  everything went smoothly as far as i’m concerned. i had a little bit of trouble post-op, anasthesia wise, but they were able to give me some medicine that helped calm my stomach down and put me to sleep (as if i was having trouble doing that).

i got my first dose of pain medicine in the hospital through my IV, and got back home around 5- i walked right to my bed and passed out for another 2 hours there. i’m downstairs on the couch now and so far, i’m not really in much pain. i took my second dose of medicine a little before 7, and i’m planning on keeping an alarm set and taking it every 4 hours and not a minute late!!!! but really, the nurses did recommend doing that to keep in it control and not let it become agonizing.

pain level today is about a 4 (0-none; 10- extreme). i’m sore, but no throbbing or difficulty swallowing. i’m able to talk, but my voice sounds like kermit and is very quiet.

i basically am always sleeping, waking up every 2 hours for about 20 minutes before falling back asleep. i just finished a juice bar and have had some gatorade and am not drinking water.

welp, 20 minutes is up and it’s time for me to rest my sleeepy head once again. thanks everyone who has been praying, supporting, and helping me stay postive through this!! i have some amazing friends and family.

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[inbetween] summer lovin, had me a blast.

today was a perfect first day of summer for me. i have zero complaints whatsoever! i got a manicure, layed out and got some sun, went to tulip time (google it if you don’t know. it’s a dutch thing), and got to hang out with all 5 of the little pieces of my heart.

along with that, i woke up by the big tongue of my favorite yellow lab kissing me all over my face. kind of sounds gross when you type it out like that, but it truly was a great way to wake up. i love that dog, and i’m glad i was able to see my very-pregnant sister and brother! they’re here for the weekend so i’m sure i’ll spend more time with them tomorrow than i did tonight.

i didn’t do anything overly exciting today, it was just a simple day with some amazing people- but that’s all i need to remind me how richly i have been blessed. i have some incredible people in my life and hope that i can appreciate and cherish all of our funny, goofy memories, like today.

i have a lot to do tomorrow- such as unpacking my disaster of a bedroom (everything that was once inside my 10×12 dorm room is now scattered on the floor of my bedroom. i literally have to crawl over my bed to get from one side of my room to the other, there is no where to walk on the floor), and attending an elmo birthday bash for my favorite 2-year old.

as for sunday, i’ll be back in holland with the relatives to celebrate mother’s day. i love you momma 🙂

i’m having my surgery tuesday. i’m mega nervous. i really have no reason to be, and i’m not usually one to get nervous, so the fact that i am makes me feel like it’s a bad omen of some sorts. i get really superstitious about those kind of things. which also freaks me out, because i shouldn’t believe in superstition. which makes me supersticious… a vicious cycle.

i’m a little sunburnt, and a lot tired. so goodnight.

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[inbetween] no sudden movements..

last night, i was laying in my bed, which is now bunked, talking on the phone- minding my own beeswax like a good little girl. enter carl from stage left. she comes waltzing in, laughing and mumbling things and decides to jump into my twin xl bed with me. that’s cool, i’m a snuggler, i’m fine with that. first, she spoons me. thanks carl, thanks. then, she pins me down head first into my pillow. thanks? then, she decides to roll over, put her feet up on the bottom of the top bunk and kick as hard as she can. this was all fun and games, laughing, tickling, giggling (yes, we are in college) until the inevitable happens: THE BUNK COLLAPSED ON TOP OF US.

i literally do not think i have words to explain how hilarious this was. keep in mind, this entire time, i was still on the phone. hahaha. poor person on the other line, hearing this happen. first we laughed, and then we screamed when we realized we were trapped in between two bunks. we screamed for help and everyone came in and just stood there in awe, laughing. we finally crawled out and it took four girls to get the bed back up and into position.

needless to say, i didn’t sleep very well last night. every time i moved, my bed would squeak and i would wake up in a panic, worried that my bunk was going to fall on top of me.

yes. this actually happened.

yes. this actually happened.

so this post is dedicated to carly, for almost killing me. probably one of the funniest things that has happened this year.

in other news, today is tuesday, which means i am 3 days away from 4 months of freedom. i’m currently at my internship until 2, and then i plan to study for my math final until midnight or 1am-ish. come noon tomorrow, my final will be over with and i will be done with math for the rest of my life. and for right now, i can’t think of anything that could make me a happier girl.

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[inbetween] indifferent.

today is the last monday i will ever spend as a freshman at michigan state university. the last monday i will wake up in my small 10×12 dorm in wilson hall. the last monday i will have to a) walk to my car to go drive somewhere for coffee/food or b) walk down to the caf and force feed myself something.

today, and tuesday, wednesday, and thursday will be ‘last days’ for a lot of things. now, this year has overall been really, really horrible. i didn’t have the amazing, crazy, don’t-ever-want-to-leave freshman year of college that a lot of my friends did. in fact, i had quite the opposite. i’ve been counting down the days until the end of the year since the day i got back after christmas break, but now that it’s finally here, i’m putting on the breaks to my fast and furious exit and wondering if maybe i’ll regret not soaking up this time in my life more, laughing a little harder, talking a little bit more, going out a few more nights than i did. i’m usually never one to have regrets, i know that what happens happens, everything works out the way it is supposed to. but i still can’t help but wonder if i’m going to look back on this year when i’m older and wish i hadn’t spent the whole time hating it, and taken a little time to love it.

as i was packing up my clothes and emptying my desk drawers this past weekend, this really bizarre feeling of nostalgia came over me. this year may have been a huge adjustment that was hard and took a lot of work, but i did have fun. i met some amazing people. i formed new friendships that i know i will keep for the rest of my life. i laughed until i cried, i stayed out until the sun came up, and walked across campus so many times that i seriously considered cutting my feet off numerous times.

on top of that, this year has done wonders in strenghtening my relationship with my parents. one that has been rocky and weak for years has turned out to be the one that i have leaned on most for love and support when i didn’t think i’d make it one second longer. it’s true what they say when you’re little, “you’ll understand when you’re older.” because i do. i get it now. i understand the things my parents did then, and i am so thankful. i have AMAZING parents. parents who love me more than i will ever realize and who will do anything for me. through all the tears and frustration, my parents held my hands and got me through it, always staying close when i needed them there and giving me space when i was ready to do it on my own.  being away from home and experiencing a time of growth that was harder than i ever could have possibly anticipated brought me to a place where i realize my family is, and will always be, the most important thing i have ever been blessed with.

this year also brought amazing girls into my life. when i got to school, i started in a different room than i ended up in. after a rocky first 2 weeks in my previous room, i was finally able to move to a different room down the hall. my new suitemates were 2 girls, carly and mel. i couldn’t tell you when, or how it happened, but now, i don’t remember a time in my life when i didn’t know them. i feel like they’ve just always been there. i know that carly was someone God sent to keep me sane this year. she has been my biggest rock this year. we have both been able to lean on each other and hold each other up. while i’ve only known her for 9 months or so, carly knows me inside and out better than some that have known me my entire life. she gets me, and i get her, and it isn’t very often in life that you are able to have a friend like that. she reminds me where i’ve been and where i’m going and keeps my head on straight. we both come from different backgrounds and have very different personalities, but together we form this dynamic power duo and i know she’s in my life for the long run. through new boyfriends, marriages, kids, and growing old, i can say without a doubt that we will be friends forever.

i know that i’m leaving this place on thursday, but i don’t think it will hit me for a while what i’m leaving. this place and these faces have been my life, day-in and day-out for the past 10 months. and to be away from it all for 4 months… will be different. sure, it wasn’t all butterflies and rainbows, but as awful as this year was, i wouldn’t change it for the world. i grew as a person, friend, daughter, and student more than i have in the rest of my life combined. i stretched and strengthened myself in incredible ways, and truly realized who i am and what i stand for.

so heres to a year. a year of laugh, car accidents, tears, failed tests, just barely passing that class, terrible professors, great professors, frat boys, sorority girls, cab rides, chasing dogs, date nights, movie nights, take-out, long drives, and a lifelong memory and lessons that will stay with me for the

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