i am such a pessimist. when did that happen? i used to be the obnoxious, outrageous, optimistic smiley blonde girl. when did that change? how did i become so depressing and morph into the debbie downer that i am today?
i want to change that. i want to be happy. i want to be content. i want to not want so many things and just learn to cherish the many blessings that i recieve everyday. my problem is that i’m so busy complaining about how much life sucks and how unhappy i am that i can’t even see all of the little things that are so good.
in light of hopes of a happier week, i’m going to talk about why today was a good day and ignore all of the things that made me crazy.
the sun shined (shone?) today. it was a joy to drive around with sunglasses on, and not just any sunglasses, but aviators. and hey, who doesn’t feel like a cooler person when they are wearing aviators?
i got to drive! it was great to be able to drive today. driving is such a huge stress releaser for me and being able to cruise in my car brings a calm over me, so that was great.
i had lunch with mallory and it was so great to talk to someone that i don’t get to see all of the time. we are so similar in how we act, react, and think about situations so it was great to hear her take on my life, and me on hers. i love catching up with friends and doing it over food just makes it so much more enjoyable. i loved it.
i love how much closer i’ve gotten with evan this year. i really feel as if he is one of the biggest blessings (person wise) that i’ve gotten over the past 5 years. i have traveled a long journey with him and witness him grow in incredible ways. he is such an inspiration to me as a real person with real struggles whom still strives to walk step in step with Christ everyday. i love hearing about his life and getting his advice about things going on in my life. i am able to get a real perspective but also the christian perspective. while he tells me to pray about things and entrust my problems fully in Jesus, he understands that it can (and will) continue to eat away and me and will tell me what he would do. i feel that I have grown and learned so much from our friendship.
i had such a great time reading through forgotten memories and looking at old treasures. reading my old journals, dripping with tales of love and happiness, reminds me that everything will be okay. there is so much more to life than what i am feeling in this moment and someday i can read back on how i’m feeling now and again smile, knowing that it made me who i am then.
it was truly inspiring to read about the profound love i felt as a child and excites me to meet someone as brilliant and enchanting, someone that will again sweep me off my feet and leave me catching my breathe. someone who makes me want to be the best possible person of me, someone that knows how many sugars i want in my tea and where i want to be kissed and when. while i am often the first one to feel down and impatient, i know that eventually all of this anxiety, fear, and sadness will pay off as i say “i do,” and prepare to spend the rest of my life with my true love. sappy, right? i’ve always been somewhat of a sap. 🙂
i guess when i focus on the good things, it makes me hard to make the day seem anything but an overall fine day.
this is something i need to work on!
Lord, please help me remember to cherish the beautify in life and to stop and smell the flowers! I have trouble remembering to enjoy the ride. I’m so antsy to make it to the finish line so that my life can “begin” and I know that isn’t how it works. Help me to focus on my schoolworks and the wonderful relationships that are right before my eyes here at school. Help me to love others as best I can and to be the best possible version of myself.